Jul 12, 2012

Flowers Fade Friday: Alone.

It is not good for man to be alone {Genesis 2:8}.

God said it. He knows everything...

And I am realizing more and more lately that He is right. I mean, I know He is right in theory, but my heart is starting to believe it too.

A few things you should know about me...

1) I am an extrovert by nature, and I typically feel most alive when I'm around other people.

2) I have lots of friends, but I live far away from my closest girlfriends.

3) At most times in my life, I have been crazy busy. Like leading three Bible studies at once busy. Or have-something-scheduled-every-night-of-the-week busy.

But ever since I got married and moved to Arizona, my life has been drastically different. I honestly am not busy. I know you guys think I'm crazy busy because I go to school and work and exercise and keep my house clean and am really involved in church, but when I compare this season of my life to former years, it is rather quiet. I have a lot to do, but so much of it is done when I am alone. At home. At a coffee shop. Silently thinking and praying as I run at the gym. My life, other than my classes, is not all busy and scheduled like it used to be. I don't dash from place to place after work. I am not constantly surrounded by people. I am by myself for a good portion of every day, especially during these summer months.

And in some ways this has been a huge blessing. After years of piling too much on my plate, trying to find my identity in my friendships and not the Lord, and idolizing busyness, this season of rest has been good. I savor my quiet times with God in the morning, the nearly silent rhythms of managing my home and writing for school {with the exception of a tapping keyboard and the hum of the washing machine}, and just the overall stillness of my life. I like that I have free days on my calendar and spend most of my weeknights at home instead of in meetings and group gatherings.

But at the same time, I can see my new enjoyment of alone time quickly becoming an idol as well. I see myself getting all too comfortable with quiet. Because when it's suddenly loud or hurried or busy or the room is full of people or someone asks me to neglect a basket of clothes that need to be folded in order to meet them for coffee... my sinful little heart clings to the quiet.

Even though I'm still a people person through and through. After the coffee date interruption, I come back refreshed and thankful I put a friend above folding {I mean, really? How silly am I?}. I am reminded that God knows best. And He wants us to be in community. Not that keeping my house clean is wrong. Not that this season of quiet He has given me is not a blessing, because it IS.

But I think I have taken my quiet season too far. He gave me a gift and I turned it into a god.

It's time to get loud. Maybe not as loud and busy and scheduled as my past life... but loud with people and service and interruptions for His glory. Impromptu coffee dates and helping my neighbor and pursuing my husband with intention and striving for a deeper friendship with the one God has given me til death do us part. Loud with laughter and tears and bearing one another's burdens and rejoicing with one another in times of celebration {Romans 12:15}. Loud with sharing the Gospel and living on mission for Christ in this desert He has brought us to. Loud with pursuing new friendships instead of just pining for the friends I've left in other states. And while I will always cherish the highly anticipated weekly or monthly calls with those best friends far away, I need to get loud with pursuing friendships here. Seeking out women to love and share life with.

It is not good for me to be alone. Not too much anyway. God always knows best.

*Linking up with Casey Leigh*


  1. ruthy ann7/12/12, 11:08 PM

    moving to the PNW and leaving my close community of girlfriends has been hard...I've had a lot of quiet time and I'm desperately seeking authentic community in a group of gals...although I'm outgoing and involved in church, it is still very difficult to get past the superficial and to the "deep" part of friendship that takes so long to develop.

  2. Kelsey Elizabeth7/13/12, 9:19 PM

    I absolutely loved your post on wild and precious, and now this one too! I am still working out a balance between too much alone time and forging uplifting new relationships with like minded people. This reminds me of a few parts of Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz where he talks about living alone vs. living with roommates.

    And btw your writing is awesome! :)

    xo kelsey

  3. Samara7/14/12, 8:47 PM

    It's so funny to read this post as I am struggling with being too busy and not having time to spend with God and to invest in deep friendships. It is a fine balance to achieve but I do agree, we need to be careful we don't idolise the quiet times...

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